Judge John Hodgman on Ben & Jerry’s Flavors

Jaime writes: My partner, Adam, and I disagree over whether the Ben & Jerry’s flavor Americone Dream is a “new” flavor or a “classic” flavor. I think it’s new. If correct, I request damages in the form of flavor-choosing authority for one year.

I’m not sure why this is important. Does the classic designation increase the value of Adam’s ice cream collection? If so, his investment has paid off. Americone Dream, named in honor of Stephen Colbert, has been around for just 14 years, compared with Cherry Garcia’s 34. But 14 is a lot of years! Especially when 2020 counted for five. And while its once-rival Willie Nelson’s Country Peach Cobbler molders in the “flavor graveyard,” Americone Dream endures. If Adam actually does have a mint condition 2007 pint of Americone Dream, don’t eat it! It is a classic, and maybe also poison by now.

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